It's Worth The Fight
The Black Friday Sale is a well-anticipated sale of the year, where stores have one of the lowest prices on different items. It typically takes place in November, which is perfect for Christmas gift shopping, hint, hint! I typically prefer shopping online on that day if I can but a number of people still go into the stores as well. With everyone looking forward to the stores opening on black Friday, a number of people queue outside of the store prior to its opening, some even camp outside the stores or malls a night before, in order to get a head-start. In some places, once the stores open, there is a huge rush into the store and people run towards the items they have been longing to get. In fact, some people end up fighting with other shoppers over items they want, in order to possess it as their own. How much more, your marriage!
Are you getting tired of a marriage that you know God-ordained for you but it just seems like nothing is changing but instead getting worse? Don’t give up! It is worth fighting for your marriage! Paul said in 2 Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful” (NLT). Not all fights are good but marriage is one that is good and definitely worth fighting for. Now, I don’t mean physically but in other ways that we will explore today.
WAYS TO FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
Through Wisdom
“The wise woman builds her house [on a foundation of godly precepts, and her household thrives], But the foolish one [who lacks spiritual insight] tears it down with her own hands [by ignoring godly principles]”. (Proverbs 14:1 AMP)
It takes wisdom in your speech, actions and thoughts to fight for your marriage. There are times when you know the words to say to press your spouse’s button but instead, you decide to restrain your lips and speak with grace and life instead. Proverbs 15:1 AMP says, “A soft and gentle and thoughtful answer turns away wrath, But harsh and painful and careless words stir up anger”.
Abigail was one woman in the bible that applied wisdom in her speech and actions in order to protect the life of her husband and household from the wrath of David. David and his men had protected the shepherds of Nabal, the husband of Abigail, ensuring nothing was stolen from them nor harm came to them while in the wilderness. As a result, when they heard Nabal was shearing his sheep, they asked Nabal to show them kindness in extending some provisions to them but instead, Nabal ruthless insulted them and when word came to David, he became angry and summoned 400 of his men to kill Nabal and his household. When word came to Abigail, she hurriedly took some gifts for David and his men and spoke wisely to David, whose anger subsided. It is no wonder that when Nabal died of a stroke, David married Abigail without any delay (1 Samuel 25).
Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom on what to say, how to say it, what to do and how to go about your actions and conduct. We can fight for our marriages through wisdom.
2. Through Prayer
Prayer is a very powerful weapon in the hands of a believer. Jabez prayed for a change in his destiny and God turned it from one of sorrow to one of an enlarged coast and territory. We see the impact of prayer in the life of Hannah who was childless for a while and when she prayed while at Shiloh, God remembered her prayer and gave her a son (1 Samuel 1). There is tremendous power in prayer and this is one weapon we can use in fighting for our marriages. Isaac was an example of a man that used this weapon to fight against barrenness in his marriage. When Isaac noticed his wife, Rebecca was unable to give birth to children, he went to God in prayer for his wife’s fruitfulness and the Lord heard his prayer and she conceived twins (Genesis 25:21).
As a couple, are there challenges that your marriage is facing? It is not time to give up but to brace up in prayer. Isaac seeing that barrenness was one challenge his parents faced in their marriage and that was something he and Rebecca were both now facing in their own marriage. He didn’t decide to call it a quit but instead, he decided to fight against barrenness through prayer and God heard him. When the enemy comes against your marriage in whatever form, let the Spirit of God in you raise a standard against him. One of the ways He does so is by praying in the Spirit and in our understanding. We have the power to bind or loose whatever needs to be bound or loosened when we pray (Matthew 18:18).
3. Through Declarations
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21 NKJV)
You can create life or destroy life by the words that come out of your lips. That is the power of declarations and decrees. God practically spoke the earth into existence (Genesis 1) and since we are made in the image and likeness of God, we carry the same power to decree things into existence. The Shunammite woman’s son was dead but she decided not to accept that verdict and when asked if all was well by her husband, she said “It is well” (2 Kings 4:8-37). You cannot afford to make careless declarations about your marriage because of a current challenge. When the devil gives evil suggestions about your marriage, do not give in to those suggestions but instead, declare the word of God concerning your marriage. When Jesus was tempted by the devil, He kept using the word of God to fight against those temptations. Sometimes, you might just suddenly notice that you are so upset or frustrated with your spouse concerning something (and sometimes, you can’t even pinpoint what exactly it is) but that is an attack on your marriage. When such attacks come, there might be a temptation to want to make certain declarations such as “I can’t do this anymore”, “I’m tired of this marriage”, “I don’t understand this person anymore”, “I want to end this marriage”. These are attacks from the pit of hell, with the aim to get you to make these pronouncements, with the aim to start creating an alternate world of your marriage. Since we carry the ability to create our world like God when such declarations are made, a seed has been planted and it begins to grow and bear negative fruits of continuous frustration, resentment, loss of interest in the marriage and before such a person knows it, they have ended that marriage. When the temptations come, declare the word of God concerning your marriage. “My marriage would stand strong like the house built on the rock- Matthew 7:24-27”, “My marriage is honourable and our bed will not be defiled- Hebrews 13:4”, “My wife is a good thing and a vehicle of favour for me- Proverbs 18:22”; “My husband is a leader and he will keep leading this family wisely- Proverbs 31:23”. The word of God is the sword of the spirit, that we use in fighting against the wiles of the enemy (Ephesians 6:17)
Jacob was a man that unfortunately made a declaration concerning his wife that eventually manifested and led to her death during childbirth. When Rachel stole the gods of her father Laban and Laban accused Jacob, Jacob made a declaration that whoever stole his god would die, without realizing that Rachel had stolen it and sat on it during the search (Genesis 31). Fast forward to Genesis 35, on their way to Bethlehem, Rachel died by the roadside.
Let’s ensure that we make declarations of life concerning our marriages and not of death.
4. Through Praise
Praise is one weapon that summons the very presence of God. This was something Paul and Silas knew and invited the presence of God into the prison where they were held.
“25 But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. 26 Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone’s chains were loosed.” (Acts 16:25-26 NKJV)
Did you notice it says “at midnight”? Marriages sometimes go through the “midnight” season where they are facing different challenges but just like Paul and Silas used the weapon of praise, activate the weapon of praise into your home. There is something anointed praise does to the atmosphere of your home that sorrow and sadness have to leave. Begin to praise God to activate joy in your heart because it is only through joy that you can draw from the wells of salvation (Isaiah 12:3). When the children of God shouted aloud, the walls of Jericho had to come crashing down (Joshua 6). King Jehoshaphat also used this weapon of praise and the Lord fought their battle for them (2 Chronicles 20).
Someone once said, “It is not unscriptural to be challenged but it is unscriptural to be defeated”. Praise invites God into your situation, which brings about victory. It is time you invite God into your marriage through praise.
5. Through Endurance
Marriage is a marathon race and one of the items needed for a marathon race is endurance. In a race, the runner will sometimes get tired, weak and feel like giving up but when endurance has been built during the training, it kicks in and they are able to finish the race. The same goes for marriage!
Endurance is one of the fruit of the Holy Spirit, who is our personal coach that tells us we can still hang on in that marriage when we are tempted to quit it. The more we fellowship with the Holy Spirit, the more the fruit of the Holy Spirit grows inside of us. Some God-ordained marriages have ended because the parties in it had not built enough endurance needed for the test of time and when those challenges came, it swept the marriage apart. Sarah almost lost her position as Abraham’s wife by giving her maid to Abraham to sleep with because she couldn’t yet have children. Don’t lose your marital place because of that challenge, God is bigger than that challenge. Ruth was one woman that had a great deal of endurance despite the mishaps she had been through. She did not give up on herself but kept pressing on and in due season, the Lord rewarded her with Boaz as her husband and ended up being in the lineage of Jesus Christ. My husband once said to me and I'm repeating those words to you today, “Don’t back down until you secure victory”.
“Remember you’re not just fighting the battle for yourself. You’re breaking barriers and making way for those to come after you”
(Words by Pastor Emmanuel Adewusi).
The strength needed to fight for your marriage in a sustainable manner comes from the Holy Spirit, who is ready to train and empower us to ensure we secure victory. In order to access Him, you need to give your life unto Jesus Christ by saying this simple prayer with me:
“Lord Jesus Christ, I believe you are the Son of God and I believe You died for me on the cross of Calvary. I know I am a sinner and today, I come to You to forgive me for all my sins and to make me a brand new creation. I accept You as my personal Lord and Saviour. Thank you, Lord, for forgiving me and making me born again, in Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Congratulations!!!! You are now born-again! This means you share the same DNA as Jesus Christ and, because of you, there is a great celebration in heaven right now!
If you made this decision, I would love to hear from you today! Please leave a comment on this post or reach out to me at https://www.cccghq.org/contact-us
Fight for your marriage today, it is worth the fight!
By: Pastor Ibukun Adewusi