Rekindling the Sparks During a Pandemic
Have you ever been in a situation where over the years, you have had several conversations with someone - let’s call him/her Person A - and when someone else asks you for the name of Person A, you actually don’t know what their name is? Somehow, over time, you have become so familiar with that person that you feel too embarrassed to ask them what their name is, and the longer you keep that relationship, the harder and more embarrassing it is to ask. I call this the “Familiar Stranger” phenomenon.
Well, I have been guilty of this (embarrassing look) and as I pondered on a time in the past when this occurred, I realized through the help of the Holy Spirit how many married couples have become familiar strangers to one another. At the beginning of the relationship, you were so excited to be in the company of each other and it seemed like 24 hours was not enough in a day, as you never wanted the day to end. You spoke for hours on the phone and possibly “skype-slept” with each other because you never wanted to disconnect from that special person (Coined by me: Skype- sleeping is remaining connected with each other via skype while sleeping in different locations. Warning: This drains your phone/ computer battery ... A LOT!). But as the marriage continues, with years or even months passing by, and so much happening all at once (kids, work, ministry, school, errands, etc), without you realizing, your spouse may have become a familiar stranger to you because you have not really taken the time to date your spouse on an ongoing basis; with the aim to get to learn more about them as they evolve over time. Well, it’s time to rekindle the sparks! There are different ways to rekindle the sparks including physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. As believers, sometimes we are more informed about the spiritual aspect of rekindling the sparks such as reading the word together, serving together in ministry, praying together, going on conferences together etc, but, unfortunately, we are sometimes lacking in the knowledge of how to rekindle the sparks from a physical, emotional and mental perspective.
With the current COVID-19 pandemic affecting the world, some of the precautionary measures taken amongst others are staying at home and though this is a situation that should be taken seriously and my prayer goes out to those affected by the virus, I believe that in every situation, there is always a silver lining, though it may be challenging to find at times. This is an excellent opportunity for families to bond and have time to engage in activities that they might not have been able to under normal circumstances. For married couples, this is an amazing opportunity to get to know your spouse on a deeper level and rekindle the sparks! It’s time to spice things up!
Let’s explore some ideas on how to rekindle the sparks with each other during this pandemic while at home. You will notice this will focus on the physical, emotional, mental aspects of your marriage or a mixture of them. You don’t have to follow these ideas step by step, but feel free to change it up based on your situation and preference or, better still, come up with your own idea based on you and your spouse’s preferences.
Rekindling-the-Sparks Ideas: (Just For Married Couples)
Tub Date With a Twist: Here you can fill the tub with water, foaming soap, Epsom salt and have some candles lit or LED candles on. Have some background soft gospel instrumentals (Gospel Jazz or Saxophone instrumentals are one of my favourites for this setting). You can further spice it up, with some non-alcoholic wine with glasses by the side and, if hungry, mini appetizers like spring rolls. It’s a great time to just talk, not about work or the kids, but just talk in a relaxing atmosphere.
2. Dinner Date at Home: Instead of going to a restaurant, this is having a dinner date from the comfort of your home. This is an excellent setting to talk and laugh together. You both can do some aspects together such as cooking or split it based on the dish you are making. You can have a nice tablecloth on your dining table (if you normally don't have one) to change the look of the table, have a small fake or real flower or centerpiece on the table, print a menu on an existing picture frame with the table set with plates, cutleries and napkins, have music in the background and have the food set on the table. You both can dress up if you’ll like some extra flavour! I love this because it spices things up from the normal dinner at home and takes you back to when you first met :)
3. Movie Night at Home: You can mimic going to the cinema by actually getting hot dogs done at home, with some microwave popcorn on the side. Select a movie on any of those online movie providers such as Netflix, Disney+, AppleTV+, Pureflix, etc, while you get your blankets and turn off the lights.
4. Sleeping or Reading by the Fireplace: One day our furnace stopped working in the midst of winter, so to keep ourselves warm, we turned on the fireplace downstairs and placed our mattress close to the fireplace and it was sooo amazing!!! You can do the same or have your own twist. You could even read a book together by the fireplace and discuss what you’re reading and learning from the book. It’s more like a "romantic book-club just for two" :). This would affect the emotional, physical and mental (if reading together) bonding of your relationship.
5. An Evening Drive Together: This is one of my favourites with little or no effort from you. I’ve always loved drives in the evening, because of the quietness of the night time. During this drive, you can have some soft music playing and just talk. I’ve had some amazing conversations with my hubby without doing anything extravagant.
6. Drive and Park Under the Stars: This is one of the things I would love to try, but I'm yet to find a place where I can actually see the stars in the sky at night. If you can find such a place or even a place with a nice view, you can park the car there, have some soft music in the background, and you can either view the stars through your car’s sunroof (if you have one) or sit by the trunk of your car (if you have a truck) or have some folding chairs, have blankets placed beside your car, and watch the view and talk.
7. Drive-Thru Movies: With cinemas being closed during the pandemic, some drive-thru movies might still be opened (unfortunately, we don't have any in my city) but in the event they are not open, you can change up the way you watch movies by watching a movie in the comfort of your car.
8. Play Games Together: This is a great way to rekindle the sparks mentally. Some games could be scrabble, crosswords, sudoku and may I add pillow-fights (definitely a game to me lol)!
I challenge you to prayerfully think of how you can spice things up in your marriage and take a step towards getting to know your spouse on a deeper level. I will take the lead and share my rekindling-the-sparks plan: Tub Date With a Twist! I would love to hear from you on what steps you took in spicing things up in your marriage. You can leave a comment on this post or reach out to me at https://www.cccghq.org/contact-us
Sneak Peek Into My Tub Date With A Twist!
The Holy Spirit is such an amazing partner in coming up with amazing ideas for rekindling the sparks in your marriage. He knows you and your spouse and knows exactly what is needed or what would speak to your love languages (read more on Gary Chapman’s book called "The 5 Love Languages"). To gain access to the Holy Spirit, you need to open your heart to Jesus Christ. This is the most important relationship that needs to be rekindled. If you would like to take this step today, please say this prayer with me:
“Lord Jesus Christ, I believe you are the Son of God and I believe You died for me on the cross of Calvary. I know I am a sinner and today, I come to You to forgive me for all my sins and to make me a brand new creation. I accept You as my personal Lord and Saviour. Thank you Lord, for forgiving me and making me born again, in Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Congratulations!!!! You are now born-again! This means you share the same DNA as Jesus Christ and because of you, there is a great celebration in heaven right now!
If you made this decision, I would love to hear from you today! Please leave a comment on this post or reach out to me at https://www.cccghq.org/contact-us
By: Pastor Ibukun Adewusi