The "S" Word- Part 2: Five Requirements For Submission
In our last blog on The “S” word- Part 1, we explored what true submission is, and one of the truths mentioned is that submission is a choice. It is not something that is forced but comes from a place of love. We further discussed how submission is a display of strength and not weakness. In the words of someone, submission is “strength put under control”, which is a depiction of wisdom and character. Lastly, we explored how submission is meant to be expressed towards your own husband and not your fiance, your boyfriend, or another lady’s husband. Today, we will be exploring the 5 different requirements for submission.
5 REQUIREMENTS FOR SUBMISSION
Know Who You Are
A lot of times, people are not willing to submit to any form of authority because they are trying to prove something to themselves or to others. There is a perceived inadequacy they are trying to hide behind the puffed upfront they present. Being aware and conscious of the value you carry would eliminate the need to prove your worth. Submission is a display of great strength and when you walk in that consciousness that God deposited something special and valuable in you, it lightens the burden of trying to prove your worth to your husband. It is not a mistake that God referred to wives as a good thing and a vehicle of favor for her husband (Proverbs 18:22).
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22 NKJV).
Gold is known to be very valuable and hidden underneath the ground, hence why we have gold mines, in order to find and extract the hidden gold. In proverbs 18:22, we are reminded that the man finds a good thing when he finds his wife. The reason is that God has hidden you in Him because of the value you carry as a wife. We are further reminded that not only does he find a good thing when he finds a wife but he also obtains favor from the lord. It means there is a level of favor that a man meant to be married will never obtain until he finds his wife. She is a vehicle of a different level of favor for Him. When you walk in this consciousness of the value God has placed over your life as a wife, submission becomes easier because you know that you are a woman of worth and value. You don’t need to prove your worth to your husband, because the Most High already knows your worth. As you walk in the consciousness of your worth in Christ and decide to submit to your husband, God Himself will ensure He always has your back.
I used to wonder who has a woman’s back in marriage since she was asked to submit and the Holy Spirit answered my question through Isaiah 58:8.
“Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind” (NLT)
Physically speaking, it’s so difficult to constantly watch your back as it would lead to a neck strain. Many wives are strained in their marriages because they are trying to watch over their own backs in their marriages but you weren’t designed to do that. That is God’s responsibility. Allow God to take that burden off you and let Him be your rear guard.
2. Know the value of your Husband
Being aware and conscious of the value that lies inside your husband is very crucial in submission. This is the key to honor. The reason why we have fans of celebrities/ stars is that those fans have seen the value that celebrity possesses and as a result, there is an honor and respect they place over them. The same principle is needed in marriage. Sometimes, if we are not careful as wives, we can easily get too familiar with our husbands and take for granted the value our husbands possess. There is a reason why the Lord made the husband the head of the wife. The husband has the responsibility of leadership, following in the footsteps of Christ, which are BIG shoes to follow. The responsibility of sacrifice, provision, protection, spiritual covering and the list goes on, are not easy tasks but God knows He has given the husband the grace and capacity to fulfil all these.
When you started dating or courting your husband, there were some qualities that you saw in him that attracted you to him. It’s a great practice to list out those wonderful qualities and the newly discovered qualities since marriage and refer to them as much as you can. It renews your appreciation for him and aids with honoring him.
As you honor God’s word in Ephesians 5:22 by honoring your husband in thoughts, words and deeds, God will make sure that you are honored as well. It’s the principle of sowing and reaping.
“Therefore, the Lord God of Israel has declared, ‘I did, in fact, say that your family and your ancestor’s family would walk before me forever,’ but now the Lord declares, ‘Far be it from me! The one who honors me I’ll honor, and the one who despises me is to be treated with contempt” (1 Samuel 2:30 ISV)
3. Humility
My definition of humility is a person choosing not to exalt themself over another. True humility towards God would allow submission to prevail. Humility towards God involves not exalting ourselves above God’s word and the Holy Spirit. It is really dying to ourselves and allowing God to increase in our lives.
“He [God] must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.” (John 3:30, NLT)
Even God exalts His word above His own names (Psalm 138:2) and we have to have the same attitude towards God’s words. If we call ourselves believers/Christians, it means we have made a decision to allow God to govern the affairs of our lives, including our marriage. Our views and opinions are very subjective but the word of God is very objective. There are times when the flesh wants to rise up and go against what the word of God says concerning marriage because you “feel” God doesn’t understand the situation you’re facing but Jesus (word of God) remains the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). It is wise to walk with the wise and we can do so by allowing the word of God, the wisest book of all time, to direct you in that situation. Hence why the Holy Spirit, our helper in time of need, is able to shed more light on God’s word and how it can be applied to that specific situation.
As a wife chooses to submit her will to God’s word and the Holy Spirit, this activates the release of grace needed to reflect submission towards her husband because God gives grace to the humble but resists the proud (James 4:6). It is a terrible thing when God Himself is resisting a person!
4. Power
Naturally, humans have a tendency to exalt themselves above others and it takes grace from God or should I say a greater power than our natural human tendencies, for a wife to submit to her husband.
My pastor defines power as the ability to get things done and it is no wonder that Jesus beckoned to His disciples to wait to receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon them to be witnesses for Him around the world (Acts 1:8). When Peter tried not to betray Christ without power, he ended up denying Christ three solid times but when he received the Holy Spirit and got power, the same previously frightened Peter shared the gospel before a large crowd. Power comes when a believer is baptized with the Holy Spirit and this power can be harnessed by fellowship and communion with the Holy Spirit.
Communing with the Holy Spirit is one of the greatest gifts Christians have in this dispensation. Someone once referred to the Holy Spirit as the G.P.S (God’s Positioning System) of our life. He knows you more than you know yourself and He knows your spouse more than you or they do. He is able to tailor solutions or strategies specific to your own marriage. He is the one that can give you the power to apply self-control when your flesh wants to rise up. Engage with Him and you will see that more grace and power to submit would be released. This brings me to the fifth requirement of submission: self-control.
5. Self- Control
There was a time I had an “awkward” moment with my hubby and I recall the Holy Spirit telling me to assist him with ironing his shirt for work. That was the last thing my flesh wanted to do but because I was under the authority of the Holy Spirit, I ironed his shirt (without “mistakenly” burning it) and that act of kindness was the end of the “awkward” moment. That seemingly “little” act of kindness is something that my hubby kept referring to after so many years.
The fact that you know who you are, you know the value of your husband, you’re walking in humility and have received power, does not mean that temptations not to submit would not arise! There is a constant war between our spirit and our flesh and the flesh wants to do the opposite of what God has commanded us to do. There are times the flesh would want to raise its ugly head, in order to give room to pride and neglect being submissive but it takes self-control to resist that temptation. The strength of our self-control is based on our level of intimacy with the Holy Spirit because self-control is one of the Fruit of the Holy Spirit. The more we commune and fellowship with the Holy Spirit, the more we kill the flesh and strengthen our spirit, which is aligned with God’s spirit (The Holy Spirit).
“ 16 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. 18 But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.” (Galatians 5:16-18 NLT)
The power to resist the temptations against submission is available through the help of the Holy Spirit and you can have free access to Him today by surrendering your heart to Jesus Christ today. All you have to do is simply believe and say this prayer with me:
“Lord Jesus Christ, I believe you are the Son of God and I believe You died for me on the cross of Calvary. I know I am a sinner and today, I come to You to forgive me for all my sins and to make me a brand-new creation. I accept You as my personal Lord and Saviour. Thank you, Lord, for forgiving me and making me born again, in Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Congratulations!!!! You are now born-again! This means you are part of the family of Jesus Christ.
If you made this decision, I would love to hear from you today and provide resources for your new journey! Please leave a comment on this post or reach out to me at https://www.cccghq.org/contact-us
By: Pastor Ibukun Adewusi